Hi. It’s been a while. We skipped any posts during 2015, which, without gloating was one of the best years on record. A real stunner. Bane IVHuge apologies if it was terrible for you, but I am, always will be, a huge fan. Indeed, it is the high watermark on what will now be a steady decline into obscurity, poverty and death.

2015 saw Bane travel to Australia and the USA for five months. The fact that no links to any tickets for any of those shows are on this website, shows you what a great time we were having; basically we were moonwalking from place to place, high fiving strangers, using party as a verb and conga lining around supermarkets. Ahem. In reality it’s because the labyrinth of pages I need to navigate in order to update this website is an unimaginable joke. Phone calls to my technically savvy younger brother are a painful flashback to our teenage years; “What’s the password? … Then I press update, what? … Busy? You? You’re younger than me so whatever you’re doing is less important … F**k you too”. But, I’ve caught him in an especially fine mood, so I’m in. I’m in the zone that simply requires me to write and press return, which will fingers crossed appear in front of your eyes on this website. So, I’ll plough on.

As you may or may not know 2015 is firmly in the past. Now is now. So, now? Well, Bane IV is in the first draft phase and we’ll be performing that at the Pleasance theatre in March (10 & 11th) and at the Brighton Fringe in May, amongst other places. I WILL put the links to tickets on this website – I already managed to do it for the upcoming Vault Festival guys – when Zuckerberg hears of my developing computer abilities he is gonna shit. Bane IV probably won’t make it up to Edinburgh this year – it’s so very far away and tends to take up months prior and post, that said, 2012 was our last trip to the Fringe and I don’t half miss it. Maybe next year. We’ll be doing sporadic touring in the shires this year too, which is without a doubt my favourite type of touring. Audiences are great. The people who run the schemes are great. And the experience is great. If you don’t know about the rural touring schemes it basically allows you to visit the nicest small villages and towns throughout the UK, wherein by you perform in a village hall or a con club or a barn or a shed or a gallery or a living room, and meet some phenomenal characters that stay with you forever – often you stay in their houses too, which can be a chilling Kathy-Batsey type experience, but most of the time is a wondrous affair. Basically, you arrive at midday, with no tech to do because there often isn’t any, so you head out on a country walk, feed a few horses, browse a local museum, secure a pint of ale, get fed by the promoter some sort of award winning pie, you do your show, go to the pub and chat to some of the nicest people in the country. Weeks later you are financially recompensed. Smash town. Everyone should do it.

Part of the reason for radio silence on all things Bane is that in the meantime betwixt shows, Ben and I wrote a film, it’s called Green and is a comedy crime-caper. It’s being produced by Mad As Birds films and being directed by Ash Brannon (Toy Story 2 & Surf’s Up). We’re really proud of it and we can’t wait to share more information about what’s happening with it, as soon as we’re allowed. Whilst I’m gloating, and let’s be honest it’s MY website so if you don’t like it… tell me. Tell me why and I’ll change it, I’ll change it immediately. I wrote a film with Celyn Jones called Keepers, it’s based on the Flannan Isle lighthouse mystery and is being directed by Krystoffer Nyholm (The Killing, Taboo, Enfield Haunting) who could run anyone close in a contest for world’s nicest man award. I’m really proud of it too, it’s a thriller about greed and stuff, and is the first film I ever wrote. As soon as I can tell you more information on these projects I will call my brother and ask him how to do a post on this website for the seventh trillion time. So, there. That is what is happening, and that is what will now make this website look a little less neglected and old. So that new visitors don’t think they’ve ventured into the dark web, sweating over whether to call their own tech savvy relative, in order to avoid their computer self destructing before their eyes… For more regular updates, check the Facebook page. Until then, I have to return some video tapes: https://www.facebook.com/Bane-104197804790/

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